I am not sure how or why this came to me but I want to remember it. I think it is important to remember where you have come from as well as look to where you are going.
Fourteen years ago I had my 3rd child, my son Jacob. It was a very hard pregnancy and I remember craving sugar the entire time, I was eating the standard American fare chock full of sugar and white flour. He weighed 9 lbs 4 oz when he was born, I was huge and in pain much of the last trimester. I remember one time crying as I walked up and down the aisles of the grocery store because it hurt to even walk. Looking back I believe this was a trigger for my Celiac's Disease and digestion issues.
And so began a series of health problems that culminated over 10 years later, I was depressed, losing hair, suffering from arthritis, overweight and not able to lose it easily, I had severely dry skin and scalp as well as crazy female issues, I was constantly fighting off colds or the flu, the list of physical issues goes on. I always felt unwell and in pain from one thing or another. I was young, 27 years old, and when I would turn to a Dr. for help I was told I was "getting older" and usually given an antibiotic. I began avoiding the Dr's office but could not find an answer to my health issues, in my desperate state I was willing to try most anything that came along that seemed like it would help, including radical diet changes.
With all of these physical issues it was very hard for me to look outside of myself. It felt to me like the world was out to get me at times. Looking back, I feel bad for my husband who had to deal with me. I was self absorbed and constantly frustrated. Any kind of stress at all sent me into a tailspin. At one point my husband commented that I was always sick on vacation, I didn't understand why I was and didn't deal well with his comments either. I know now that the small amount of stress involved in getting ready for the vacation left me wiped out. It is so easy to look back and say duh!
My point in writing this post is that we don't know what other people are experiencing. We can't judge them not knowing what is going on in their lives. I feel I have crossed a threshold, I have the knowledge to take control of my health and what a sweet world it is. I have noticed that I can sometimes get frustrated with people in my life who make poor choices and then complain, but I have to remember my situation and I pray for them to find their answers and take control of their lives.
The sweetest part of this story is how new and different it is to have the energy to think about others, including my family. I am very busy, it is easy to lose sight of others, but I have the emotional and physical energy that I didn't have two years ago. This is new for me, I guess that is the point of this post, all of this has taken me by surprise. A very pleasant surprise.
Speaking of surprises, take a close look at the picture above, did you notice the window is broken out in the shape of a heart? I took this picture in an alleyway in downtown Salt Lake City last month. I like to think that there is always something good in everything, we just need to look for it.
Fourteen years ago I had my 3rd child, my son Jacob. It was a very hard pregnancy and I remember craving sugar the entire time, I was eating the standard American fare chock full of sugar and white flour. He weighed 9 lbs 4 oz when he was born, I was huge and in pain much of the last trimester. I remember one time crying as I walked up and down the aisles of the grocery store because it hurt to even walk. Looking back I believe this was a trigger for my Celiac's Disease and digestion issues.
And so began a series of health problems that culminated over 10 years later, I was depressed, losing hair, suffering from arthritis, overweight and not able to lose it easily, I had severely dry skin and scalp as well as crazy female issues, I was constantly fighting off colds or the flu, the list of physical issues goes on. I always felt unwell and in pain from one thing or another. I was young, 27 years old, and when I would turn to a Dr. for help I was told I was "getting older" and usually given an antibiotic. I began avoiding the Dr's office but could not find an answer to my health issues, in my desperate state I was willing to try most anything that came along that seemed like it would help, including radical diet changes.
With all of these physical issues it was very hard for me to look outside of myself. It felt to me like the world was out to get me at times. Looking back, I feel bad for my husband who had to deal with me. I was self absorbed and constantly frustrated. Any kind of stress at all sent me into a tailspin. At one point my husband commented that I was always sick on vacation, I didn't understand why I was and didn't deal well with his comments either. I know now that the small amount of stress involved in getting ready for the vacation left me wiped out. It is so easy to look back and say duh!
My point in writing this post is that we don't know what other people are experiencing. We can't judge them not knowing what is going on in their lives. I feel I have crossed a threshold, I have the knowledge to take control of my health and what a sweet world it is. I have noticed that I can sometimes get frustrated with people in my life who make poor choices and then complain, but I have to remember my situation and I pray for them to find their answers and take control of their lives.
The sweetest part of this story is how new and different it is to have the energy to think about others, including my family. I am very busy, it is easy to lose sight of others, but I have the emotional and physical energy that I didn't have two years ago. This is new for me, I guess that is the point of this post, all of this has taken me by surprise. A very pleasant surprise.
Speaking of surprises, take a close look at the picture above, did you notice the window is broken out in the shape of a heart? I took this picture in an alleyway in downtown Salt Lake City last month. I like to think that there is always something good in everything, we just need to look for it.
amazing photo and a happy ending story to boot!
ReplyDeleteKaren, this is such a beautiful post. I soooo understand, and can relate to so much of it. Although, I don't yet have a blog, I too write journals with much of the same reflections...bless your heart! Ina
ReplyDeleteLovely post. Another big hurdle, as well, for almost everyone, is that we're sooo tired and too busy. I don't get home from work until 7:30 pm, so it would be easy to talk myself out of being on the diet that my son and I both need to follow. I felt crummy most of the time, but if it wasn't for my child's autism would I have been motivated enough to do something about it? I sometimes wonder if, before birth, my child volunteered to be autistic just to save the rest of the family. I think many folks don't get a big enough wake up call till it's too late. Why is that? Why is it so hard to get answers? And many of us will never get to that point. I tend to wear our story on my shirt sleeve. I feel that for everyone who thinks I'm nuts, there's another who will look into diet and just might get some of their life back.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your words today. You are so right - we need to be looking at the good (because it's all around!)
ReplyDeleteI've had a rough day, and so I was so glad to read about your great recovery after your miserable times.
Here's to good health, and eyes that can show us some joy!
Thank you for writing about this. It's a lot like what my 27th year and last pregnancy were like. I can only be thankful my body did give out then, because if it hadn't I would have never found SCD and never changed my ways. For the first time in my life I feel what it is like to truly live, I imagine the way God intented it to be for us. I started SCD one week after my 28th birthday knowing I couldn't live another moment being sick. Thinking how unfair it was to my boys. That was six months ago and I have never looked back. Anyways thanks and I really love your blog. You inspire me to keep going.
ReplyDeleteEmily- thanks for the comment today I appreciate it! Karen
ReplyDeleteIna, you are such a lovely person, thank you!
ReplyDeleteMrs. Ed,
ReplyDeleteI wish we knew the answers about how are families are sent to us and what trials we have. I have often wondered myself why me? Because I was educated on Celiac's I was able to get a diagnosis for my 2 kids immediately when symptoms arose. It really is a blessing for them, I hope the damage will be very minimal to their lives. I love that you put your story out there, most people don't listen but for the one that does it will make all the difference. Bless you!
Trish Tator (I love this name,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your lovely comments, I see from your profile you don't live too far from me. Any good restaurant suggestions in Salt Lake?
Candice, Thanks for commenting, you are one of the lucky ones who knows what you need to do. I hope you are feeling much better after 6 months on the SCD, I am going on 9 months and wish I had tried it earlier. Thanks again, Karen
ReplyDeleteGreat post - thanks for sharing! Why is it so hard to change what we eat? Food definitely makes a difference, regardless of the condition. Just amazing.
ReplyDelete